The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
