Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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