if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
