First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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