we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
