I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
my god I love twenty year old dicks
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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