i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
