i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
