I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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