this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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