True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
