I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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