Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
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He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
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That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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