Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
