Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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