just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
