I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
