Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize