There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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