How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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