Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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