so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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