you didnt know i had herpes?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize