i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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