There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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