Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
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Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
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Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
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