Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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