I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
