Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
