sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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