dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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