sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
zippers are such a cool invention
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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