Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You're like the curious george of whores
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
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Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
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You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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