New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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