it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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