Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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