4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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