I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
