Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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