Cold hands, warm shart.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
