All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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