And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
