She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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