I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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