SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
im holly from the hills drunk
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
