I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
