I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
