did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
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