i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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