She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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