This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
