worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
they need to just BURY HIM!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
