Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
