Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
