She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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