I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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