I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We got so high we made milksteak
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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