Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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