And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
