You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
